7 Things You Need To Define Before Starting A New Relationship

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Meeting a new guy or girl that’s genuinely interested in you, is one good thing everyone of us do desire. It’s a beautiful thing to fall in love with your dream woman or man. You feel on top of the world. At that point, nothing else matters to you. The thought of being in love and knowing he/she loves you in return gives a sense of fulfilment. Yeah, I know. I’ve been there before. Lol!

Not too long, I fell in love with a lady that seem to love me in return. I can remember how I used to walk around the house smiling at regular intervals. The thought of having that pretty lady that live across the street, whom I used to crush on, made me feel blissful. Sadly, that beautiful romance faded away in less than two months. It took me much mental energy to move on from it. It’s a story for another day, anyway.

The greatest mistake that costed me a relationship was my inability to define the relationship right from the start. I regretted it so much. For you reading this blog post not to tread the same path like me, I have to write this blog post to educate you about the need to define your relationship with him or her, even before you guys start to date.

You think you love that guy and you guys are ready to make things work. Fine! What are the things you need to discuss with your partner before you spark a new relationsh? Seven of them are briefly discussed as follows:

1. Time Management

Time is precious to every human on earth. It’s so limited and can’t be recovered if wasted. As a new couple-to-be, it’s very necessary for you to define how much time you guys need to spend together on dates. You need to define the span of time you can tolerate without seeing each other.

Quality time is one of the five love languages that strengthens the bond between couples. Therefore, from the onset, discuss with your partner how to make effective use of your time together. Remember you have individual lives to maintain. Planning your time is very compulsory, not just necessary.

If you don’t know, or haven’t read about the five love languages, I have a blog post where I discussed about it and why you need to know how to speak them to your love mate.

READ: The Five Love Languages Explained And How They Affect Your Relationship

2. Exclusivity

Do you want an all-exclusive relationship with him or her? Do you want a open relationship where each party can hangout with side flings? Are you comfortable with it, if he/she flirt or hang with other people aside you? These questions should be answered by both parties before dating. You need to define the exclusivity of the relationship.

3. Financial Input

Maintaining a stable and healthy relationship requires money. Yeah, I know money isn’t love. But, love requires money for you to enjoy it. If you read the five love languages I mentioned above, you should know that one of the love languages is gifts exchange. Then, how do you exchange gifts from time to time, without money?

This is where you have to define the financial Input of each partner before dating starts. Will you be comfortable if they don’t spend on you? How much can you contribute to the relationship? These questions should be answered before sparking a romance flame.

4. Short & Long Term Goals

You have to know the short and long term goals of one another. Define the things you wanna achieve in the next one month. Discuss about the goals you aim to score in the next one or two years. Is their goals compatible with your goals? Are you working together in the same direction? You need to define your goals together as a couple first, before attaching strings.

5. Bedroom Life

One of the most important elements of any dating romance is sex. Sex is so powerful that it can destroy or strength a romance affair. You need to define your sexual life with him/her before connection starts. Do you want a no-sex relationship? If No, can you cope with dating him/her without sex? If Yes, how frequent do you want your sexual activities to be? This should be defined too.

6. Boundaries

It’s important to define your boundaries with them before dating. How much of your life do you wanna keep private? What are the things you can’t share with him/her? How much do you want your partner to know about you? How deep do you want them to be involved in your life? Boundaries should be defined in any relationship from the onset. The questions above need to be answered by each party.

7. Personal Expectations

We all have our reasons for dating people, right? I’m sure most of have one or two expectations from a relationship. That’s why it’s crucial to discuss and define those expectations from the start. What do you want from the relationship? Is is just fun? Is it just sex? Is it just to spend time? Is it marriage?

Define what you want, and check if they want the same thing as you. To avoid stories that breaks the heart, please make sure you do.


Most of our relationships will last longer if we actually define the relationship from the start. It gives a sense of purpose to both partners, and helps to guide the relationship towards a common destination.

Thanks for reading to the end. Drop your contributions, questions and suggestions in the comments section below. Before you go, kindly share this post to your friends on social media. It might save a couple from heartbreak. Thanks, once more time. We hope you see you again!


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